Saturday, October 6, 2007
such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
`__well I can't explain why it's not enough, cause I'd give it all to you//
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall everytime
Tell me, how much do you want this? Because lamenting feels like a past-time these days. Trying to make things work feels like moving mountains. Watching the other one look away feels like a sudden flatline. Efforts made to go to waste, it seems like. Money set aside for the only form of communication, used for infidelity.
Something about us
doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged
We all have choices to make, the consequences we have to deal with. Choices made too early, too late, brings fourth let downs and disappointment. But sometimes it's just one's own will to make things work. I've moved mountains, crossed deserts. What have you done? Drown it all in whiskey and malt.
Disappointment is all I ever feel now. With or without expectations, I still find disappointment running through. Brewing, watching, waiting. Then... BOOM.
Don't misunderstand how I feel,
Cause I try, yes I've tried
But still I don't know why,
No I don't know why..
I really don't know what's left. It's all mumbles of doubt, I'm on the fence now. Where I fall is going to be up to where you push me to. To push me, even...wow. Maybe I do have too much expectations, and that I should cut them down to none. Listening to all the others receive gifts, love letters, flowers, the amount of appreciation. And all I ask for is to know that I am appreciated, besides a "thanks, what would I do without you." Being used feels more like it, you keeping me around just because you need me, not because you want me. How could you not try, just cause you think I'm not the romantic kind.
-hot tears, hot tears-
I'm Done. Period.
THIS IS TORTURE. YOU'RE KILLING ME FARIS.
Location: The Bedroom
Music: I Gotta Go My Own Way - Vanessa Ann Hudgenson
11:33 PM